If your going to the Midwest...

[blkTJ]

I just got this e-mail from a friend in Wisconsin. I thought it was kinda funny.

Those of us in the Midwest realize that sometimes misunderstandings can develop when Easterners and Californians travel through our wonderful states. So, from now on, when entering our states, they will be handed the following Midwest Information Guide:

1. First of all, pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. It's called a "dirt road". No matter how slow you drive, you are
going to get dust on your Navigator. Drive it, or get out of the way.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get you whipped.... by our women.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orivs Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those little trout you fish for...bait.

6. That farm boy standing next to the grain bin did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym...so think twice before making fun of his bib-overalls and greasy John Deere hat.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot at it. You might hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for what you paid in the airport for one drink.

9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order
it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice.

11. So you have a sixty thousand dollar car you drive on the weekends. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that
we use two weeks a year.

12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks...because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.

14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too...and turtle. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it.

16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

17. So every person in every pickup truck waves. It's called being friendly. What a concept.

18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazard. It spooks the fish.

19. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot...his name is "Sir"... no matter how old he is.

Now, enjoy your visit!!

[Wind_Danzer]

[cbremer]

my grandparents live in Indiana, and boy is it a culture shock to this born & bred so-cal boy when i go visit them

[blkTJ]

Originally posted by cbremer
my grandparents live in Indiana, and boy is it a culture shock to this born & bred so-cal boy when i go visit them

ahh yes, but there's always a trip to White Castle to cheer you up. I can't believe you like that crap.

[Scott Hill]

two words

Stevens Point.

[mnjeeper]

OK. More than a few of those made me laugh.

[blkTJ]

Originally posted by Scott Hill
two words

Stevens Point.

Originally posted by mnjeeper
OK. More than a few of those made me laugh.

[Stu Olson]

Having been born and raised in Minnesota, I can say that they are all 100% correct. Too funny!

[cbremer]

Originally posted by blkTJ
ahh yes, but there's always a trip to White Castle to cheer you up. I can't believe you like that crap.

white castle = OK; Steak 'n Shake: mmm mmm good

[blkTJ]

Originally posted by cbremer
white castle = OK; Steak 'n Shake: mmm mmm good

you know what Chuck... I'll have to agree with you on that one.

[Allen]

I can't tell you how big of a disappointment this whole thread has been.....

I thought someone was coming to see me.....

Allen