The Navy - Then and now

Joe Dillard · #1 09-11-2008, 09:14 AM

Then - In the "good old days", if a sailor smoked, he had an ashtray on the desk.
Now - If a sailor smokes he/she is sent outside and treated like a leper.

Then - Mail took weeks to arrive aboard the ship.
Now - Every time the ship nears land, there's a mob topside seeing if their cell phone works.

Then - If a sailor left the ship it was in Blues or Whites.
Now - The only time they wear Blues or Whites is for ceremonies.

Then - Sailors wore bellbottoms everywhere on the ship.
Now - Bellbottoms are gone from the Navy. 14 year-old girls wear them everywhere.

Then - Sailors wore a "dixie cup" all day, with every uniform.
Now - It's not required and they have a choice of various headwear.

Then - If you said "damn," people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.
Now - If you say "damn" you'd better be talking about a hydroelectric plant.

Then - The Ship's Yeoman had a typewriter on his desk for doing daily reports.
Now - Everyone has a computer with Internet access -- and they wonder why no work gets done.

Then - We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of home.
Now - We put the real thing in the cockpit.

Then - Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive.
Now - She is on the same ship, praying that your condom worked.

Then - If a sailor got drunk off duty, his buddies would take him back to the ship to sleep it off.
Now - If a sailor gets drunk off duty, they slap him in rehab and ruin his career.

Then - Canteens were made out of steel and you could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.
Now - Canteens are made of plastic. You can't heat them because they'll melt and anything inside always tastes like plastic.

Then - The top officers were professional sailors first. They commanded respect.
Now - The top officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a wedgie.

Then - Enemy intelligence was collected and analyzed.
Now - The crew's urine is collected and analyzed.

Then - If a sailor didn't act correctly and obey the rules, he'd be put on extra duty until he squared away.
Now - If he doesn't behave, a paper trail is started that follows him forever.

Then - Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.
Now - Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time.

Then - The crew slept in a barracks, like a soldier.
Now - They sleep in a co-ed dormitory, like a college kid.

Then - Sailors ate in a Mess Hall. The food was free and they could generally eat their fill.
Now - They dine in a Dining Facility. Every item, even a slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and they can only have one serving.

Then - We defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan -- at the same time.
Now - We don't even try to beat Iran.

Then - If a sailor wanted to relax, he went to the Rec Center, played some pool, smoked, drank beer, and told sea stories.
Now -They can go to a local Community Center and play pool -- maybe.

Then - If a sailor wanted a couple of beers and some social conversation he could go to the EM club. Officers to the "O" Club. A glass of beer was a quarter.
Now - The beer will cost two bucks and someone will be watching to see how much he drinks.

Then - The Exchange had bargains for sailors who didn't make much money.
Now - You can get better merchandise for a better price at Wal-Mart and K-Mart.

Then - If an Admiral wanted to make a presentation, he scribbled down some notes and a PN or YN spent an hour or so, preparing the formal document.
Now - The Admiral has his entire staff spend days preparing a complicated computer Power Point presentation.

Then - We called the enemy things like "Commie Bastards" and "Dirty Reds" because we didn't like them.
Now - We call the enemy things like, "Opposing Forces", and "Aggressors", so that we won't offend them.

Then - We declared victory when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken.
Now - We declare victory when the enemy says he's sorry and won't do it again.

Then - A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
Now - A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.