Southern ebonics

[Chris L]

Southern Ebonics

Not to be outdone by Ebonics in California, the Southern Association
of Colleges & Schools is requesting billions of federal dollars to
teach"Y'allbonics" in all classrooms south of the Mason-Dixon line.
Included here are some samples of "Y'allbonics." If you do not
understand any of them, contact a Southerner for an explanation.

HEIDI: (noun) Greeting.
HIRE YEW: (complete sentence) Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi,
hire yew?"
BARD: (verb) Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother
bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH: (noun) The state north of Florida. Capital is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER: (noun) The state west of Jawjuh. Capital is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in
improvements."
MUNTS: (noun) A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh
bard my pi! ckup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
THANK: (verb) Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a Coke."
RANCH: (noun) A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage: "I thank I leff my
ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a
few munts ago."
ALL: (noun) A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my
brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR: (noun) A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't
change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR: (noun) A rubber wheel. Usage: "I hope that brother of mine from
Jawjuhdon't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE: (noun) A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't
rise, Ah sure hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Pars sometime."
RETARD: (verb) To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age
65."
FARN: (adjective) Not domestic. Usage: "Icuddint unnerstand a wurd
he sed .... mus! t be from some farn country."
DID: (adjective) Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
ARE: (noun) A colorless, odorless gas; oxygen. Usage: "He cain't
breathe ...give 'im some ARE!"
BOB WAR: (noun) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away
from that bob
war fence."

[-=Alien=-]

LOL! Being from Texas and Louisiana, I've heard all those words!

[derf]

Originally posted by -=Alien=-
LOL! Being from Texas and Louisiana, I've heard all those words!

And then some.


But you're not a true redneck until you can understand the following conversation:


MR DUCKS
MR NOT
SAR CDEM WANGS
LIB MR DUCKS

[ChrisO]

LMAF. You owe me a new keyboard, I just spewed my lunch all over mine HeHee

[Iceman]

LOL

[Tumbleweed]

I read right through that one, first time and got it correct. Spent too long in lower Alabama I reckon.
Had to sound it out for the NJ resident though.