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Political Arm Pit and Fool Shed Enter at your own risk. This is the land of political discussions, jokes, and nonsense posts. |
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Jeep Thrills
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If Microsoft were GM
Microsoft should make cars, GM should make software: At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:
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50 WAYS TO KNOW YOUR A REAL JEEP NUT
1. If you use a hose to clean the inside and the outside 2. When the best route from point A to point B is through the rockpile or over the mountain 3. When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark 4. You roll it over and don't get upset 5. Your mom and sister can't get in without help 6. You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb 7. You puke when you see a RAV4 8. You get custom pin-striping from trail brush 9. When a low-rider Jeep pulls up next to you and you get out and bitch-slap the driver 10. If it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts 11. When you pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days 12. When you take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail -I don't see a trail!" 13. When you've been forced to add TJ, CJ, YJ and XJ to your spell-checker 14. When you can see OVER a Suburban 15. You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up 16. When your Nerf bars battle rocks and win 17. When it rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off 18. When you drive around to look at Christmas lights topless 19. When you change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break 20. If your "Parts Dept." is on blocks behind your house 21. When you take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Jeep back onto its wheels, again 22. You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield 23. You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents 24. Every page of your repair manual has greasy fingerprints 25. Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling 26. You spend more time under your Jeep than under your significant other 27. Winter comes and your can't remember where you left the roof 28. You spend more on car washes than on insurance 29. Even worse the car wash won't let you in 30. You fix almost everything yourself 31. When you feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser 32. When you have all your credit card numbers memorized 33. When you slam the door and chunks of dried mud crumble to the ground 34. If you get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snowstorm and get paid for it 35. You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway 36. You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows heavily 37. You can't hear your $200 stereo over the howl of your tires on the highway 38. You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Jeep 39. Any tire that isn't waist high looks like a bagel 40. You can't sneak into church late because the engine is too loud. 41. You carry along enough tools to supply a small garage 42. You nickname your Jeep after the noises it makes or it's most damaging trail accident 43. You carry along a replacement part for every drive component on the Jeep 44. You can air up your tires without stopping at a gas station. 45. You know how to reinforce the windshield frame near the wiper arm 46. You're constantly getting passed on the highway. 47. Your wallet is always empty. 48. When your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that you wash your Jeep 49. When you finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Jeep 50. Your nickname at work is "JEEP" |
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Top 10 Reasons . . .
for having mechanical lockers in your Jeep (by Phil Jensen) 10. Occasional loud banging sound gives you an adrenaline rush that is better than coffee 9. Excellent opportunity to demonstrate your superior mechanical understanding to your mechanic while explaining to him that, no . . . your rear end is not broken 8. Your significant other won't ask to borrow your Jeep, cuz they are afraid to drive it after that parking lot incident 7. Lane changes no longer require all that annoying effort of actually having to turn the steering wheel 6. Beating sports cars off the line on wet pavement 5. Having a 4X4 that actually turns more then two wheels 4. Single lane U-turns 3. Cool, brightly-colored "Warning: May Cause Injury or Death" stickers for your dash 2. No need to plow snow from your driveway . . . ever And the Number One reason for having mechanical lockers in your Jeep: 1. Opens up a whole new and exciting hobby: Making fun of ARBs!!! |
#7
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__________________
a little TJ with a few mods |
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