Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

[Daless2]

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?


GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.

VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?


I needed a bit of levity today and I found this. I hope you enjoy.

Frank

[Paradiddle]

Thanks Frank!

[DanB98TJ]

A man gets home, screeches his car into the
driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and
shouts at the top of his lungs...... "Honey, pack your
bags. I won the lottery!"


The Wife says, 'Oh my Goodness! What should I pack,
beach stuff or mountain stuff?"


"Doesn't matter," he says. "Just get the heck
out."

_________________________________

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as His father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked "Dad, why are you doing that?"

His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Johnny, looking worried said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

[cbassett]

Add John Kerry to the chicken tale Frank...


John Kerry - I believe a common chicken should be allowed to travel where he or she wishes. I was a chicken once, and I crossed many roads. I crossed roads in front of traffic, I crossed roads against red light, I crossed roads where there were no crosswalks. I do not agree with chickens crossing the road.

[Hobbit]

Originally posted by cbassett
Add John Kerry to the chicken tale Frank...


John Kerry - I believe a common chicken should be allowed to travel where he or she wishes. I was a chicken once, and I crossed many roads. I crossed roads in front of traffic, I crossed roads against red light, I crossed roads where there were no crosswalks. I do not agree with chickens crossing the road.

John Kerry - I believe our intelligence on road crossing by chickens is seriously flawed. Oh, and I have three Purple Hearts!

[Daless2]

The New Yorker: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road. He won't say. But he was thankful for the flashing "Do Not Cross" sign. Said it gave him something to read while he was crossing the road.


Frank