What would you do in this situation?

[Scott]

Ok, not to put a downer on the board, but this is seriously racking my brain. I just found out last night that my best friend is gay. He told me last night, after a week of prodding him to tell me who he is dating (he is recently divorced, mainly because he's been gay for years but tried to suppress it I guess) and he tells me that its a guy, and he's been attracted to men for a long time. I don't really know what to do or say. I want to be his friend, but also, those of you that know me, know Im a christian, and I personally believe that his preferences are sinful and wrong, but I still want to be his friend, and be there for him, since there aren't a whole lot of other people that are there for hiim right now. What do you think I should do?
Scott

[John]

Don't go camping with him.

[Scott]

Thanks smartass.. I already knew that
Scott

[Jeff McRae]

Avoid bar hopping with him too. If he offers to push in your stool, he's not just being polite..............

[John]

Scott, open ICQ or something

[underDAWG]

If you are a true Christian, then accept him. Tell him that coming out is the right thing to do and support his action. Just tell him don't touch you in public

[TObject]

Scott,

If you were an attractive young man, it would be different. But, I've seen your ugly mug. You have nothing to worry about.

http://teenadvice.about.com/library/...lgayfriend.htm

[Scott]

Originally posted by underDAWG
If you are a true Christian, then accept him. Tell him that coming out is the right thing to do and support his action. Just tell him don't touch you in public

I do support hiim, but Its just a shock to me thats all. We were both raised in Christian homes, and we've been best friends for a long time, I never figured he'd tell me something like this.. so Im kinda still shocked.
Scott

[jeepik]

"soap on a string "

[Jeff Weston]

Scott,

Although you live a life free of sin, I'm sure you have friends who lie, cheat, steal, use the Lord's name in vein, covet thy neighbor's wife, etc. etc. etc. As for sinner, weren't most of Jesus' cohorts sinners as well? Anyway, I'm not going to try to preach religion to anybody but it sounds like that is the only thing holding you up from still hanging with this guy. If you're worried about him making a play for you, don't, I've seen what you look like. Seriously, I'm sure he's probably going through a real tough time right now and obviously really values your friendship to confide in you. If others have a problem with it, F'em. (bad choice of words? )

[Jeff McRae]

Hell Scott - we all thought YOU were gay...........

[TObject]

You are so ugly, even your picture doesn't want to bear your face.

[Scott]

Originally posted by TObject
Scott,

If you were an attractive young man, it would be different. But, I've seen your ugly mug. You have nothing to worry about.

Sergey, what you mean ugly??

[Jeff McRae]

Now that's "hurl my beer" ugly. MY beer, not that chicken marinade yer guzzlin'

[Scott]

Jeff, I know IM ugly. thats just it. As far as being Gay, I don't think so.... Men just don't do it for me.

Mr. Weston. I see where you are coming from, but there is one thing. I do not live a life free from sin. I just try to. It doesn't work a whole lot of the time. God just chooses to forgive.
Scott

[TObject]

Something bothers me about the way you hold the beer can in that picture. I don't know what is it, maybe the grip, maybe the angle, maybe that look in the eyes...

Just kidding.

Ok, we going to need some ladies or gay men to make the final conclusion if you are ugly or not.

As for your friend, my guess is that he didn't change, what changed is now you know more about him.

[Scott]

Originally posted by TObject
Something bothers me about the way you hold the beer can in that picture. I don't know what is it, maybe the grip, maybe the angle, maybe that look in the eyes...

Just kidding.

Ok, we going to need some ladies or gay men to make the final conclusion if you are ugly or not.

As for your friend, my guess is that he didn't change, what changed is now you know more about him.

I suppose thats it. Ive just talked to him on the phone for about an hour last night, and haven't actually hung out with him since I found out. I hung out with him about 4 days prior to this, and all seemed normal, I just hope things will still be normal, and I think they will be. Its just taken me a bit longer than expected to get my head around this.... Guess I better get used to it, we've got some planning forour 5 year class reunion to do in the next couple months.
Scott

[Robert J. Yates]

Love the sinner - hate the sin and don't be the judge of him - thats the Lords' job to sort out in the end.

As far as dealing with it, no sense keeping it bottled up and my suggestion is to talk to him and tell him how you feel. If his new lifestyle choice is abhorent to you, you need to tell him that and if he's your friend, he will understand. Tolerance will then have to go both ways or else the friendship is finished.

No big deal with that either, I have had the pleasure of knowing plenty of folks whom I thought were my friends but in the end were not. "Friend" is a very frequently mis-used word in todays society if you ask me.

[mrblaine]

Scott, it's pretty basic. He is the same person you have come to respect, love and admire. I use those words because they to me are the defining characteristics of someone I consider a friend.

Acceptance without judgement. As you may pick up here and there, I have a few issues with folks, but at the end of the day, my friends are still my friends and the ones without the ability to accept me with all my quirks and as who I am don't really fit the definition anyway. Good riddance to those acquaintances.

If he was truly your friend and you his, his recent admission to you should only serve to bind your friendship into something stronger. You have to understand that he is taking a huge risk by confiding in one of his friends. He would not admit this to a stranger or someone whose input he did not value. He would only admit to a true friend and in doing so, understand what he has to lose in the process.

Friendships like that are rare and truly worth keeping. Regardless of your Christian belief, don't forget that the second half of the bible is based on acceptance without judgement otherwise defined as grace. Be graceful and lose the rose colored glasses of bias and judgement and return to the admiration and love that is the friendship you enjoyed in the past. Bring that forward and hold it dear to your heart as true friends such as this are hard to find.

[Jeff Weston]

Originally posted by Scott
Mr. Weston. I see where you are coming from, but there is one thing. I do not live a life free from sin. I just try to. It doesn't work a whole lot of the time. God just chooses to forgive.
Scott

I was being sarcastic.

sarcasm

\Sar"casm\, n. [F. sarcasme, L. sarcasmus, Gr. sarkasmo`s, from sarka`zein to tear flesh like dogs, to bite the lips in rage, to speak bitterly, to sneer, fr. sa`rx, sa`rkos, flesh.] A keen, reproachful expression; a satirical remark uttered with some degree of scorn or contempt; a taunt; a gibe; a cutting jest.

I know you're a Bud Light Drinkin', tatoo wearing, middle finger filippin', sinful mutha' ghucka'. BTW, you better put a warning with a link to that mugshot next time or you might get banned.

[Paradiddle]

Scott - read why Blaine said - at least three times. Those are amazing words of wisdom and guidance.

I can't say it any better then he did - so I'll just say that.

Jeff

[Scott]

Thanks for the input blaine. It makes a lot of sense, and I understand where you are coming from. I will take that information to heart.
Scott

[Jerry Bransford]

I wasn't sure enough of my thoughts to write a response but after reading what Blaine said, I agree 100% with what he said. I sure couldn't have said it any better.

[Wind_Danzer]

Originally posted by TObject
Ok, we going to need some ladies or gay men to make the final conclusion if you are ugly or not.

Well only seeing parts of the face, what I see isn't too bad. Need to see a full face shot.

As for the rest, Blaine said it the best of anyone and sice you said you'll take it to heart, that's all that needs to be said.

I've have friends (even relatives) of all types and I never would judge them on their sexual preferance. As long as they were a good friend and were there for me when I needed them, their personal choices never got in the way of my feelings towards them.

Good luck and I'm sure you'll make it through this just fine.

[Scott]

Well, Its not me thats going to have a problem dealing with it as much as he will. I know there are going to be quite a few people that will reject him because of his sexual preference. His dad knows that he's gay, but my friend has not told him. He will just say that he's going to go out with his boyfriend, and his dad knows that they spend a lot of time together, so Im sure he assumes that Jason is gay. At any rate, I told him that he needs to sit down with his father and actually TELL him how he feels. There is no reason to keep this from him. He is his father, and will love him no matter what.

Anyway, Wind Danzer, you wanted a full pic of my face, well here you go.. Im in the passenger seat.. in a ryder truck on my way to EJS in moab with a truck full of product as Mr. Kilby passed us up in his rubi....

[Wind_Danzer]

Not bad Scott... but that driver... DAYUM....

[Scott]

Originally posted by Wind_Danzer
Not bad Scott... but that driver... DAYUM....

thats Valentine.. He sure is a crackup.. He may not be as hot as me, but he's funny as heck! Here's another one of us posing at moab...


The one on the left is a retired jeep engineer, and the one on the far right is the engineer who brought the rubicon to life. The middle three, starting from the left Brad Kilby, Me, And Valentine...
Scott

[Wind_Danzer]

Scott,

Thanks for putting some names to the faces. I always wondered who Brad was after talking to him on the phone a few times.

[Scott]

Originally posted by Wind_Danzer
Scott,

Thanks for putting some names to the faces. I always wondered who Brad was after talking to him on the phone a few times.

Not a problem. Brad is a cool guy and he was fun to work with. I miss that job, but what ya gonna do?
Scott

[Wind_Danzer]

I hear you man, he seemed like someone everyone could get along with.

Well I have to head off, I don't want to make someone too jealous I'm talking to another bo... er.... gentleman.