"Excuse me, can you give me directions?"

[cbassett]

"Excuse me, can you give me directions?"

(preface: I'm in Vladivostok, Russia, on business. It's about 10PM-ish. The power in the hotel just went out. Emergency lighting? That's for pansies. I feel my way down the hall, to the stairs, and outside. Good time for a stroll)

"Excuse me, can you give me directions?"

That's probably what the guy said anyway. I had scene him moments before stumblin, rumblin, bumblin down the other folks on the sidewalk. The typical response he received from them were hands pointing the direction I happened to be walking, plus equally unintelligible words. No, not unintelligible because everyone else was drunk to the point of seemlingly holding on to consciousness with a burp and a prayer, though tonight seemed to have more drunks per capita (probably due to a couple new ships in port tonight). Rather, equally unintelligible because I don't speak Russian.

Finally the gent makes his way to me, leans on me a bit while [I'm guessing] asking for directions to wherever he had unfortunately filled the brain cells retaining the memory of how to get there with one, or five too many beers.
I greet him with a cordial, "Privyet", and then my best stab at, "Govorite li po angliyski?" I think I botched the 'speak English?' one good. Not that it mattered, I don't think he understood a single person he'd spoken to in the past hour or so. He has remembered a basic inquiry though, which he repeats over and over, along with pointing in every direction except up and down; down would've been the closest to any destination he'd be making this night.

Since I'd run out of Russian dialogue, I decided to offer him a cigarette....

<segway>I don't smoke, but everyone else here does. Really. Okay, you're saying it's not possible that "everybody" smokes. I'll concede that and state that, the closest number conceivable to "everybody" smokes. Including my customer and reseller/make-shift translator. At every smoke break this week, they'd offer me a smoke. It didn't matter that I'd told them, "thanks, but I quit smoking years ago.", they were consistently generous with offering. Finally, I told them I'd smoke with them once the installation was done and the we had concluded the acceptance testing. This brought them some joy, so I was glad to puff one down with my newfound comrades. The morning of the last day of testing, I dashed into the corner store and bought a pack of smokes and a lighter, so I could be the one offering the celebratory smoke.</segway>
...
...He repeated his juicy and jumbled inquiry.

I hand him the smoke.

He looks around at nobody in particular and makes his inquiry again.

I offer him a light. It's windy, so we have to do that 'make a silo' thing with our hands to protect the flame. After several seconds of lost flame, singed fingers, and stumbling,,,, success, drunk guy has a lit cig.

He again asks me the last thought remaining in his skull. This time it's a little more jumbled and incoherent. I think concentration on aiming and inhaling at the same time cost him a few needed cells,,, my bad.

I figure, what the hell, he's not going to understand or listen if he could understand, so I offer him some words.... They went a little something like this....

"Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed,
Then one day he was shootin at some food,
And up through the ground came a bubblin crude.

Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea.

Well the first thing you know ol Jed's a millionaire,
Kinfolk said "Jed move away from there"
Said "Californy is the place you ought to be"
So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly.

Hills, that is. Swimmin pools, movie stars."

My drunken buddy was hanging in there, so I started in with the closing,

"Well now its time to say good by to Jed and all his kin..."

I guess he's not much for long goodbyes though, as he started walking off at this point.

Oh well, I did my samaritan deed for the day, guess I'll stroll down and check out the trains at the station and see if that big cruise ship is still in port.... I wonder if one of those 'meat in a doughy wrap' stands are open, I'm hungry.

[Jerry Bransford]

Heh, that was a pretty entertaining story... you have a real talent for writing.

[TObject]

This is a great story, Chris. Hang in there, mate; I hope you survive the adventure.

[cbassett]

I'm having a good 'ol time.

Most people (applying this to the people I meet, pass or interact with) are seemingly "unfriendly" at first, in that very few will smile or greet you unless they know or are expecting you. The men and women behave a little differently in this regard.
The men will carry a macho-ish tight faced stare; once they here me speaking and probably realize I'm no competition and/or probably a tourist, are genuinely friendly and accomodating.
The women look at you with absolutely no emotion whatsoever. If they don't look away instantly, they will look at you as long as you look at them. Within a few seconds they will smile and warm up like the men. Some even approach me to strike up conversation (a short-lived venture, once I've run about of "yes", "hello", "do you speak English?", and "no" in Russian).

I got a tour today, to a local mountain that overlooks a resevoir and the ocean. Stunning. Autumn is setting in here, the colors were amazing. Reminds me of the Northeast US in Autumn, few colors compare. I doubt my pics will turn out, as there was a grass fire up there, that chased me off the peak in short order. Experienced metro bus riding, on the ~10 mile ride back to the city center; cost 7 Rubles, about a 25-cents.

I had sushi for the first time today, since visiting Vladivostok; ate enough that would cost a $75-100 in CA, ran me $50. Doing any research in visiting Vlad, you'll find warnings of "look out for the mafia, which hangs out in most every bar and owns every pretty girl on the street", "don't eat the seafood", and "don't eat any cream dishes". Well, they're all bunk. Mafia, per the residents, has their mind set on two things; oil and imports. There are no longer girls for hire walking the streets and calling you in your hotel room. Everything I've eaten, from the 'meat in a doughy wrap', to some elk dish with cream sauce over it, to the sushi today, has been delicious and very palatable. I've got an iron stomach, but it still tells me when something's not right.


On imports: The freight ships have been showing up daily, Loaded to the gills with cars and motorcycles. Everything looking 'as new', nothing more than 3 years old. Loaded in every square inch of the ship, even up where the antennas and radar are.
Rav-4 is a popular car here. A 3 year old car will run you ~$4k US + tax. Tax is about $5K! In fact, a week or so before I arrived the tax went up. This let me experience multiple traffic jams (as an observer, since I hoofed-it nearly everywhere) with endless honking. These go on for 30-60 minutes, throughout town. There is one main road to get to/from Vladivostok and the rest of the country, imagine the impact of jams on that road. Police will come and chat with the folks doing the blocking, but won't force them to move since ultimately they suffer from the same tax hikes. The taxes are so outrageous because the government is trying to reduce the number of import vehicles being purchased, and get citizens to by Russian vehicles. Some years back (6-8) you could buy a car right off the ship for $500. Every year the tax goes up.
Toyota is the big seller here. Nissan, Mistubishi, then Honda, in that order bring up the rear. I've seen a handful of BMWs, Mercedes (S-class and G-wagons), 2 H-2s, and a early 2000 Camaro. Just saw a new Nissan Pathfinder for sale today, $65000. Can only imagine what the G-wagons sold for.
According to a couple people I spoke with, Japan actually has two manufacturing lines: One for vehicles built for Japan, one for vehicles for export. Reportedly the 'built for Japan' vehicles are much better built and more reliable. I can't imagine "quality circles" and Kaizen coming up with a 'reliable' mfg line and a 'less reliable' mfg line, but I wasn't about to debate this with them.

Whoops, rambled too far. Provided I'm not shipped off to Tokyo this Saturday, I plan to take some time to do some writing to reflect more on my visit, and upload my pics. Time to pack, I'm thrilled to see the family but will definitely miss Vladivostok.

[TObject]

You are publishing great stories, please keep them coming. I, sure, enjoy reading little tidbits of travel journalism.

[Jerry Bransford]

Yes, do indeed keep them coming as they're really enjoyable reading! Some people have a knack for writing and you are one of them Chris.