Redneck Police Humor

[Larry Nickell]

Two men are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a
State Trooper. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his
nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks
him in the head with the stick.

"What the hell was that for?" the driver asks.

"You're in Alabama, son," the trooper answers. "When we pull you
over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car."

"I'm sorry, officer," the driver says, "I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean--and gives the
guy his license back.

The trooper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the
window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the trooper
smacks him on the head with the nightstick.

"What'd you do that for?" the passenger asks.

"Just making your wish come true," replies the trooper.

"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asks.

"Because I know," the trooper says, "that two miles down the road you're
gonna turn to your buddy and say, 'I wish that asshole would've tried
that **** with me!'"

[DanB98TJ]

Why are murders so hard to solve in the South?

















There are no dental records, and all the DNA is the same.

[Croaker]

True story....

One of my high school teachers was all of about 10 years older than we students. He was a folk-singing, guitar-playing child of the early 70s. In other words, one step shy of being a hippie.

He went to Ohio University, which is located about 40 minutes north of the West Virginia border. His band got a gig in WV somewhere, so they loaded up the archetypical Volkswagen van and headed south. Not too far into WV, they got pulled over by a pair of state troopers. One of them walks up to the window and asks for his drivers license, while the other shines his flashlight all around the interior of the van. This bright young man becomes indignant, and proceeds to tell the trooper that they have no right to search his vehicle like that -- it's forbidden by the US Constitution!

Trooper looks down from his 6'6" 250lb frame at this long-haired college boy from Ohio, and deadpans:

"Son, you ain't in the United States no mo. You in West Verginnie."

Needless to say, it was "Yes sir!" and "No sir!" from there on out.

[Jeff Weston]

Originally posted by Croaker
"Son, you ain't in the United States no mo. You in West Verginnie."

Needless to say, it was "Yes sir!" and "No sir!" from there on out.

I was just in West Virginia a week and a half ago and have the stamp on my passport to prove it.

[Iceman]

that's funny as sh!t