Thinkers

[Chris L]

Hi, my name is Bob, and I am a recovering thinker...

It started out innocently enough: I began thinking at parties now and then
to loosen up.=A0 Inevitably though, one thought led to another and soon I
was more than just a social thinker.=A0 I began to think alone, "...to
relax..." I told myself, but I knew it wasn't true.=A0 Thinking became more
and more important, and finally I was thinking all the time. I even
thought on the job.=A0 I knew thinking and employment didn't mix, but I
couldn't stop.=20

I began avoiding friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.
I returned to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What exactly are
we doing here?"=20

Things weren't great at home either.=A0 One evening I turned off the TV and
asked my wife about the meaning of life--she spent the night at her
mother's.=20

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker.=A0 One day the boss called me in
and said, "Bob, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking
is a real problem.=A0 If you don't stop thinking on the job, I'll have to
let you go." This gave me a lot to think about.=A0 I went home early after
my conversation with the boss.=A0 "Honey," I confessed, "I've been
thinking..."=20

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce."

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip quivering.=A0 "You think as much as
college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you
keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry.

I'd had enough.=A0 "I'm going to the library," I snarled and stomped out the
door.=A0 I headed to the library in the mood for Nietzsche, roared into the
parking lot, and ran up to the big glass doors...they didn't open. The
library was closed.

To this day I believe the Higher Power was looking out for me that night.
As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.=A0 The words "Friend, is heavy thinking
ruining your life?" stood out in large letters.=A0 You may recognize the
line: it comes from the standard issue "Thinkers Anonymous" poster.

Today, I am a recovering thinker.=A0 I never miss a TA meeting.=A0 At each
meeting we watch a non-educational video--last week it was "Porky's." Then
we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last
meeting.=A0 I still have my job and things are a lot better at home.=A0 Life
just got easier, somehow, once I stopped thinking.=A0 Soon, I'll be able to
vote Liberal again.

[MLCJeep]

ROTFLMAO!