Nice drawings kids.....

[Joe Dillard]

I am better than your kids!!

If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures $uck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece:

Enjoy!

http://www.fototime.com/94B538CDE447F30/standard.jpg
Megan, age 4

First of all, I don't even know what this is. If it's supposed to be a dog, then it's the $hittiest dog I've ever seen. F

http://www.fototime.com/B548C4180D96B7A/standard.jpg
Kyle, age 8

You spelled America wrong a$$hole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. There's no yellow anywhere, traitor. F

http://www.fototime.com/BA164F4352BDEFD/standard.jpg
Lisa, age 6

Holy $hit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dip$hit. F

http://www.fototime.com/C67B3D8AF9AFFBC/standard.jpg
Cameron, age 4

Terrible. F

http://www.fototime.com/FBC67F5B53B86EE/standard.jpg
Bryce, age 10

This one wouldn't be too bad if the color were kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to give an A for effort but... F

http://www.fototime.com/D5F8888D10EBEA3/standard.jpg
Jon, age 8

Ding Ding! Here comes the $hit-mobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather be burned to death than be saved by this hairy piece of $hit. F

http://www.fototime.com/8961DE016FD5092/standard.jpg
Rachel, age 7

That's interesting, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white isn't that right, Rachel? Or should I call you RACIST? Nice try, Hitler. F

http://www.fototime.com/2C4DB95D9EF9281/standard.jpg
Jason, age 6

This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random $hit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pi$$ed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this. F

http://www.fototime.com/411F8F0AB7AA3BE/standard.jpg
Seth, age 4

Vrrrroooooooooooommmmmm! F

http://www.fototime.com/4F2DD591679FDA1/standard.jpg
Kelly, age 9

This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Good job Kelly, now pack up your $hit and find a foster home. If my kids tried to pass this off as a gift, they'd come home from school and find all their $hit outside in a box. What a lousy gift, seriously. You give them video games and toys, and they give you some half-a$$ed drawing with a crooked tree. I wonder how much a gift like this would set someone back. Five, maybe ten minutes to find a napkin and some markers? F

[NAILER341]

hmmm?
you stumped me on this one, joe.

[TObject]

It's funny because the pictures are crappy but our social constrains do not let us to admit that. We are bound to have a high regard for the works of little colorists, and awe in admiration. So, when somebody snaps and goes postal, it's hilarious.

[Joe Dillard]

Originally posted by TObject
It's funny because the pictures are crappy but our social constrains do not let us to admit that. We are bound to have a high regard for the works of little colorists, and awe in admiration. So, when somebody snaps and goes postal, it's hilarious.

Exactly!

I first saw this in a email joke that was floating around work & wanted to pass it along. I found the story/joke quite humorous being that some character with a "big chest" and a chip on their shoulder would actually try to compare themself against some young kids & fell better about themself for doing so!

[mnjeeper]

The best page in the universe

Scroll to the bottom for the original

If you have some time to kill....his older "work" can be pretty funny. Haven't looked at the page in ages...he seemed to be losing his edge.