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  #1  
Old 07-28-2005, 08:41 AM
Chris L Chris L is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Lomita, Socal
Posts: 1,735
How to shower like a woman

How To Shower Like a Woman:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in
the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage
shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold
spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap
hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener
at her making the 'woo-hoo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-hoo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.


If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
there is something so very wrong with you.
Have a great day! And, "woo hoo"!!!
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  #2  
Old 07-29-2005, 12:12 AM
Joe Dillard Joe Dillard is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Diego, Ca, USA
Posts: 3,048
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  #3  
Old 07-29-2005, 10:18 AM
Wind_Danzer Wind_Danzer is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Phoenix, AZ ~ West Side
Posts: 1,609
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ROTFLMAO....

Of course most of my showers are 10 minutes or less though.
__________________
Spinning complacently in the darkness, covered and blinded by a blanket of little lives, false security has lulled the madness of this world into a slumber. WAKE UP!!! An eye is upon you, staring straight down and keenly through, seeing all that you are and everything that you can never be. Yes, an eye is upon you, an eye ready to blink.

So face forward with arms wide open and mind reeling. Your future has arrived... are you ready to go?
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